I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Apparently you make a good broom.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Randomize
