I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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