just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
