About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
