do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize