He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize