Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
