we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I want a musical about memes.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
