How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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