after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
