she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
accomplished twins. life is a go
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
