Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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