He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
A bitchslap is in order.
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