he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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