this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
