i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize