On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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