just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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