ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
