Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
