Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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