So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
