end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize