btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
