Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He shit in the fireplace
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
