I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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