the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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