wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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