Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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