please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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