I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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