we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You've changed since you got that strap on
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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