And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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