It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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