we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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