No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
