Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
