Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize