I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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