Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
