We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Life is so much better after having sex.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
