Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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