I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
