Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
