maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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