I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
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