I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
