i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
