new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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