The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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