I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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