she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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