By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
