You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I got inside last night via doggy door
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize