the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
