never play flip cup with pint glasses
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
