I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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