Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
