I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
