so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
