dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
