You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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