I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
