Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
